Dwell in Peace: The Healing Power of Prayer Journaling for Highly Sensitive Hearts

For highly sensitive people, journaling can be a safe place where God can meet and heal you as you process a difficult time in your life.

PRAYERWHEN LIFE IS HARDEXPERIENCING GOD

Mildred White

8/17/20264 min read

I’m a stickler for peace and quiet. It is hard for me to handle chaos. Some people tolerate it better than others, but I don’t—and I can’t. External and internal chaos can seep into my soul, and every fiber of my being feels it. I used to shut down, ignore people, and create a protective barrier around myself so no one could disturb the peace I so desperately needed.

The problem with this coping mechanism is, even though I manage to create a quiet façade, my internal state remains in chaos. It feels as if I’m still in chaos around me long after the incident has passed. It lingers in my head and body. After an argument with a family member, coming home from a loud party, or simply encountering a dismissive and critical individual, I can feel the heaviness in my heart and carry it for hours and even days. I still hear people’s voices in my head, I can feel the tension and emotion, I bear it in my heart as though it is still happening. It takes a while for me to recover from it.

Some might call people like me a highly sensitive person (HSP). I unintentionally absorb people’s emotions around me. I can read people’s emotions and feel it as if they were mine. Pretty weird, right? This is the reason why I am selective of parties I go to and people I hang out with. I don’t watch suspense or tragic movies before going to bed, and watching too much news is not helpful at all.

In the past I worked at a place where there was animosity between individuals, and I could tell something was up on day one. No negative words were said, but by the tone of their voices, I could feel the tension in the air.

For a sensitive person, managing internal and external chaos and tension is layer upon layer of internal turmoil and suffering, and I have been struggling with emotional sensitivity for as long as I can remember.

As an introvert, my thoughts oftentimes are not verbalized. They remain in my head, unspoken until I am ready to share it with someone who cares enough to listen, or I keep it to myself.

Fortunately, and what a blessing it is that God is always available to listen and to talk to us. He knows the deep longings of our heart, He understands, and He cares about us. He can handle and understand our deep emotions that we don’t even have words for.

Sometimes when I’m an emotional wreck, I just sit on a chair and feel my emotions and feel Him holding me in His arms. Then I’m ok.

And when I have racing thoughts and I don’t know how to pray, I would get my notebook and a pen and just start writing down how I feel and what He’s telling me. Sometimes, He would give me a bible verse, and sometimes just one word. Like yesterday when I was really struggling with feelings of insignificance. First, I heard “doubt”. I had to be honest with God that I doubt He is going to answer my prayer. I don’t doubt his power; I doubt His willingness to get me out of my situation.

Something is currently happening in my life that makes me feel like an outcast and that I don’t belong, and I feel so hurt that I wanted to leave but God has closed so many doors and I feel trapped. (Hint: it is not my marriage. My husband and I are happy, and he’s given me so much support.)

I’ve had many conversations with God about it, but His answer was: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 and "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Then I heard “trust.” The Lord was asking me if I can trust Him in this process. He explained to me that I am going through a birthing and renewal process, I am being trained, to hang in there, and to trust Him while I’m going through this. I told God it feels more like punishment than training. This thing about “being transformed by the renewing of your mind” is a painful process and I don't like it. It feels literally like squeezing through a narrow spiritual birth canal.

So, I give up and choose to obey by staying. I don’t expect my situation to change but I pray that He’d change me into someone He wants me to be, that He would change my heart and the way I see my situation.

Writing down my thoughts and raw emotions on my journal gives me clarity and calm. The bible calls it “peace of God that surpasses all understanding.” Philippians 4:7

Journaling my prayer forces me to slow down, focus and not get distracted. It brings me to a place where I can lay my heart bare before the Lord as my eyes witness the real condition of my soul through the written words. There’s no denial, no faking it. Just raw and honest conversation with God - being at peace as I dwell in His presence.

"But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me." Psalm 131:2

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Psalm 91:1-2

It is my prayer that you will find peace and rest as you dwell in the presence of our loving God. He is all that you need.

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