Five Valuable Life Lessons I Learned from my Dad

There are not many people I personally know who have had a tougher time growing up than my dad. Born and raised in the Philippines—a developing country plagued by systemic, blatant government corruption to this day—my dad lived in poverty and loneliness after his father passed away when he was a child. He and his siblings were left with relatives so his mom—my grandma—could find a job in Manila. My dad still gets choked up when he tells the story of going out to the beach or into the woods, crying his eyes out as he missed his family and suffering mistreatment from his relatives.

After high school, he reunited with my grandma in the city. By then, she was married to her second husband and had three children together. At 17 years old, my dad became my step-grandpa’s apprentice, learning how to build boats from scratch using wood and fiberglass. I remember my dad talking a lot about yachts and speedboats when I was young. He learned well from my grandpa, who was very strict about hard work and quality.

My dad is a man of few words; most of what I learned from him came from watching how he lived his life, how he grieved after my mom passed away when I was sixteen, and how he surrendered his life and his dark past to the Lord that caused his life to change forever. From a life of defeat and mourning, the Lord gave him hope and joy. This scripture comes to mind:

“Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

Psalm 30:4-5

On that note, here are the five life lessons I have learned and truly appreciate from my dad. These form the strong foundation of my core values that help me push through life’s struggles.

1. Study hard, work hard. When we were little, my dad would always tell us, “I don’t have wealth I can pass on as an inheritance, but I will support you in your studies for as long as I can, so you’ll have a better chance of lifting yourself out of poverty. Study hard, earn a degree, and get a good job.”

In the Philippines, there are more people than available jobs. Because of the scarcity, employers are highly selective and prefer candidates with college degrees. This means that if you don’t have a degree, you don’t stand a chance in the very stiff job competition.

My dad wholeheartedly supported his children’s pursuit of higher education, inspiring us to help one another along the way. As each of us secured employment, we contributed to supporting our siblings who were still in school. Thanks to this spirit of cooperation, eight out of ten of us earned our bachelor’s degrees, and nine out of ten are now either gainfully employed or managing their own thriving businesses.

2. Never give up. Life is hard, but you only lose when you give up. My dad never stopped working after he became my grandpa’s apprentice. He is now 72, turning 73 next month, and still working. I don’t recall any instance in the Philippines when he took a day off. At one point, when he and my stepmom lived in Saipan, the economy tanked and he lost his job. He did everything possible to provide for his family, even picking up soda cans on the beach and streets to earn a few cents.

The way he deals with difficulties taught me grit and perseverance. Just because you fail once or circumstances go awry doesn’t mean you stop trying.

3. Dream big dreams. Growing up, we didn’t have much. We lived in a little house my parents slowly built whenever they had extra money. I remember a nice wooden shelf (we call it entertainment center here in the US) my dad made himself from scraps he saved from work—smooth and neatly varnished—that stood in our small living room like a family heirloom. It had a shelf built for a small TV, but we couldn't afford one. This was in the 80s. He was sitting on a wooden bench (which he also made) and looking at the shelf he said, “Oh, look! That was good! Very good game!” I then realized he was pretending to watch a game on an invisible tv right in front of us. We all chimed in laughing, “Yeah! That was great!”

We now can afford not only TVs but all other things that we want and need. Needless to say, my dad is a dreamer. I learned from him that possibilities exist amid an impossible situation. And that dreaming is good and is attainable if you work hard and do not give up. He does not easily give up, nor does he lose hope even if the situation looks bleak. When life beats him down, he is not cast down, but he looks up to our God who loves to provide for His children. Which takes us to the next life lesson I learned from him.

4. My dad’s faith and relationship with the Lord help me in my own faith journey. He does not give up in face of difficulty because he believes that our God will never give up on us. He has assurance that God, our Savior, helps us in our time of need and will never abandon his children.

If I need prayer or need to share my deep longings that no one else would understand, my dad is just a phone call away. My conversations with my dad are usually about prayer requests and what we see the Lord is doing in our lives. I love those conversations because they ignite my faith and inspire me to get to know the Lord more.

5. My dad is always ready to serve and give out of compassion. He knows how it is to live in despair and be saved by God in dire situations. God has used people many times to be a blessing to him. In return, my dad desires to help and be a blessing to others. He created opportunities for people to earn decent living, gave financial support to those who needed it, even let friends live in his built apartment for free!

He had been taken advantage of many times in the past, and I cannot stand those who do this to him. Sometimes I wish he would stop trusting people and not be so generous. But that’s his joy and service to the Lord and I cannot take that away from him.

These are some of the bible verses he would usually quote:

“If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and for the gospel will save it.

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Mark 8:34-37

My dad's favorite scripture is in the book of Isaiah 43:1-2:

But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

I’m so thankful for the time I get to spend with my dad, even though both of us lead busy lives. Neither of us is especially talkative, but I deeply treasure the moments we share together. Just seeing him healthy and content with his life brings me joy and peace. Still, I hope that one day we can serve the Lord side by side in a church or ministry—that would be a dream come true for me. My dad has touched so many lives, and I am blessed to be one of them.

Left to right, my stepmom Elvie, me-Mildred, and my dad, William. Holland State Park 2019.

My dad, William with stepmom Elvie, Mildred and kids Gabby and Mikey. 2019